Slightly Odd Applebee's Customer

I was out and about with my good friend Mark the other day when he relayed this story of a recent experience at his job. He's a server at a local Applebee's and the story was so good I felt it needed to be posted.

So sometime last week, I'm working the lunch shift. A family of a Mom, Dad and set of triplets walks in and is seated in my section. They look to be the normal Applebee's-going crowd with the exception of the three identical children.

However, before I can greet the table, one of my fellow servers approaches me and asks, "Have you ever waited on them before?"

I respond that I have never seen them before and that they're a hard group to miss. He continues.

"Well, I'm warning you now...they won't tip you in cash. The woman will tip you in old magazines and toothpaste. She does it to everyone."

What? I'm sorry...come again? Surely, he's not serious.

As if to prove to him I am worthy of a cash tip and that he just sucks, I provide excellent service. Applebee's is quiet and I can afford to show some extra attention to the family. Mom orders a salad, Dad orders an entree and the kids share one kids meal. The bill comes to just over $25.00.

Appropriate tipping in this situation, by societal norms, would be around $5. However, because this is Applebee's, I should expect more along the lines of $3.75.

I present the bill, the family pays in cash and leaves the change. Yes, I have prevailed. I am more awesomer than my fellow server. Let's go retreive the checkbook and pocket the spoils...

The spoils include a half-consumed tube of Colgate toothpaste and two copies of Women's Health from 2005. Super.